Re-Frame Your Life

This morning I met with my dear friend, Leah, and we were discussing the realities of  becoming the parents of grown children.  My youngest son will be 20 years old tomorrow and will begin his second year in college.  The middle child is a senior in college and my oldest graduated from college six years ago.  I was lamenting that they are all doing "their thing" and I been forced to re-think my role that I had been playing for the past 28 years.

Through a series of events I realized that my boys have been my top priority for a long time. Now that they are adults, I have had to take a hard look at my own priorities and re-frame my my life in a way that makes sense now.

I have spent so much of my life putting myself and my issues aside to make sure my boys had what they needed.  It actually feels strange and even selfish to put myself first for a change. My oldest son constantly tells me to stop being so concerned about he and his brothers and use that energy to go where God is leading me. WOW...that feels weird coming from my child but I finally realized that not only was he telling me that I needed to focus on me but also that he and his brothers needed their space to learn how to be an adult.
I no longer need to remind my boys (yes, I do know that they are men now!) to remember important stuff and, if they do forget, they will figure it out.  I am realizing that the things they needed me for in the past are no longer necessary and all the lessons they have learned over the years can now be put into practice.

At first it felt like I had been "laid off" from a job I loved but with each passing day, it feels more like being retired from a job with a huge severance check.  I still get to visit my co-workers (my sons) but we don't have that day-to-day work relationship anymore.  I also realize that I am too young to really retire so I now get to start my new job that has a lot more options.

I finally have no excuses for making more of my dreams come true.  The real gift is that the more I am doing my thing and following my path, the more confident the boys are in doing the same thing.  I now see one of  my jobs as setting an example for my boys on how to live their adult life with purpose and excitement.

Take some time to look at your life and make sure you are not spending your days living vicariously through your child but instead, re-frame your life and keep a proper balance.  I am already seeing some great benefits from this new perspective.  Enjoy!

DJ